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Is waiting to divorce best for children?

Most parents in New Hampshire are willing to make major sacrifices for their children. For some, this could even mean postponing the decision to divorce until their children are older because they are concerned that a breakup will have negative consequences for younger children. However, this is not always the case.

Even older children are emotionally invested in their parents. Many adult children feel obligated to become involved in the process whereas a young child would not have a role. In fact, some argue that younger children may be more resilient than adults who are starting a new phase of their lives such as college, for example. Regardless of the age, children need help transitioning to the new state of things.

Perhaps more devastating than parents who choose to divorce are parents who choose to stay together and are constantly fighting with one another. Many children -- young and older -- feel some degree of relief when a divorce is announced as it may ultimately represent an end to fighting and contention between their parents. Regardless of their age, ensuring that children can maintain their relationship with both parents without feeling disapproval or guilt and not being forced to choose sides or act as a messenger between parents can help them acclimate.

The decision to divorce is typically never an easy one to make. However, postponing the decision in an attempt to protect children is likely unnecessary, especially if parents are committed to supporting them through the process and working together to create a smooth transition. Those in New Hampshire who are considering ending their marriage can often ease the conflict of the process if they have an attorney who is experienced with alternative dispute resolution methods and are committed to the process.

Source:, "Waiting Until Kids Are Older to Divorce?", Maria Sikoutris Di Iorio, July 5, 2017

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