It's a pretty universal concept that one of the primary concerns of most parents going through a divorce is how it affects their kids. Despite the emotional turmoil going on around them, you don't want it to touch them, even though you know that it will since change is inevitable.
You may feel as though you can do nothing to lessen their stress, anxiety and frustration, and the reality is that you may not be able to eliminate their fears, confusion and concerns. Even so, how you handle the coming days, weeks and perhaps months will make a difference in getting them, and you, through this process.
The smoother the process, the better
You already know that your children look to you for clues as to how to deal with situations. The more tension and contention there is in your child custody process, the worse they will feel. To make the process go more smoothly, you and the other parent could use mediation to negotiate your New Hampshire parenting rights and responsibilities agreement, which could provide everyone with the following benefits:
- If you and the other parent feel less stressed because you are not engaged in a courtroom battle, your children will feel less stress as well.
- Since mediation is about looking to the future and not the past, you can create a parenting plan that serves the best interests of the children instead of putting the children in the middle, which is what often happens in the courtroom.
- You can learn valuable communication skills that will only help you in your co-parenting relationship.
- You can lay the foundation for your future as co-parents by creating a plan that works for everyone.
- Courtroom battles often turn into "the blame game," but mediation focuses on how you will function in the future as a family despite the end of your marital relationship.
- As long as there are no adverse circumstances that prevent it, you can acknowledge that your children deserve healthy and loving relationships with each parent.
- Mediation encourages you to participate in the co-parenting process to the fullest extent possible.
In the less contentious and stressful atmosphere that mediation provides, you can negotiate an agreement that helps your children move into their new lives as smoothly as possible. You can even include a way to resolve any conflicts that arise and outline some rules regarding communication to help ensure that your children only receive your love and support without feeling as though they are caught in the middle of "adult" matters. The work you put in now will only benefit your children, and you, as you move into the future.