5 things you should know before filing for divorce

| Aug 3, 2020 | divorce |

When you reach a point in your marriage when you know you are going through more than just a “rough patch,” and your relationship will not survive, it can cause overwhelming emotion, stress and uncertainty over your future.

You have gone from what was once a loving and secure feeling, to worrying about the future for you and your children, including how you will make a living and where you will live. These emotions can make it challenging to focus on the legal aspects of divorce and making smart decisions.

Understand the divorce process before it starts

While your best step to navigating divorce here in New Hampshire is to consult with an experienced family law attorney, keep these considerations in mind:

  • Don’t set out to “win”: Rarely does either party come out as the victor in a divorce, which typically involves complicated issues, such as child custody, asset distribution and financial support. Think about the potential consequences of a lengthy and costly court battle.
  • Carefully weigh the “big” issues: Divorce presents several life-changing decisions that should not be considered lightly just for expediency. Making a knee-jerk reaction over selling a house to get the issue behind you can be costly and have a long-lasting impact.
  • Don’t overvalue advice from others: Most of us have divorced friends who are only too eager to share their experience and advise you on what you should do. However, every divorce is different. Your lawyer’s advice and expertise should be paramount in decision-making.
  • Your kids aren’t getting divorced: Psychological studies show divorce can be more damaging for children whose parents argue during the process. Avoid making hurtful comments about your soon-to-be-ex when your children are around to keep them from believing they have to take sides.
  • Focus on the “big picture”: Many people tend to dwell on the past when filing for divorce, especially over a spouse’s bad behavior. However, you can reduce the pain by looking ahead to a brighter future and moving on with your life without those negative memories weighing you down.

You are not alone

While filing for divorce can be a devastating time in anyone’s life, knowing that you and your kids will be better off can reduce the sting. In addition to leaning on your lawyer for trusted advice, remember to reach out to those you love when they offer their support.