There’s no doubt that it can be incredibly hard to have cordial interactions with your ex-spouse – particularly if you went through a very contentious divorce. As difficult as it can be, there are important reasons why it will benefit your child greatly for you to make the extra effort to promote a healthy and stable relationship with your child and their other parent.
Why it’s important
The sad reality is that children often suffer serious psychological consequences from their parents’ divorce. The upheaval in their life can be minimized if they sense that they will continue to have a consistent relationship with both of their parents, even if they don’t live together anymore.
Save in cases of abuse, it is always beneficial for children to have regular contact with both parents, and the opportunity to spend quality time with each. There are things that you can teach and offer your children that your ex-spouse simply cannot, and the reverse applies as well.
Tips that can help you achieve it
The best thing that you can do for your child is to avoid arguing with your ex-spouse in front of them, and avoid criticizing your ex-spouse in front of your child in private as well. Your child does not need to know the details of your disagreements with your ex-spouse, and signs of conflict will only serve to upset them and make them feel the need to take sides.
Make sure you do not encroach on your ex-spouse’s time with your child. If your child knows that their relationship with their other parent is important to you too, it will decrease the likelihood that they will feel caught in the middle between two warring parties, and they will more comfortably be able to enjoy their allotted time with each of you without feeling like they are displeasing the other parent by doing so.
There is no way to completely protect a child from the pain of divorce, but there are ways to make that pain much more bearable for them. By facilitating a healthy relationship with both of their parents, you can help minimize the impact of your divorce in your child’s life.