Many divorcing couples know that a split is the best thing for their lives, and while they know their post-divorce lives will be different, some of the losses that former New Hampshire spouses encounter may be unexpected. Consider how to deal with the following holes in your post-divorce world.
The biggest losses involve children
If you have children, the most significant losses from your divorce will likely involve them. The most significant loss is that you’ll spend less time with them and may feel lonely when they are with your ex. Compensate for those feelings by focusing on them more and becoming more attentive. You may also lose a sense of partnership with your ex when dealing with your kids’ successes and failures. Maintaining a good relationship with your former spouse will help ease those situations. Family trips and holiday traditions will also suffer, but you can create new ones.
Other common losses include relationships with people, tighter budgets, and different visions for the future. Among the situations you may encounter are:
- Feeling that you have lost your best friend
- Friends who abandon one or both of you
- Extended family that cuts you off or takes sides
- Less financial security due to less available money
- Drop in your standard of living when you move out of the family home
- A sense that you have abandoned a moral commitment
- You lose your vision of the future
Getting through the challenging divorce process
Getting divorced is full of emotional turmoil. Issues like property division, child custody, splitting retirement plans and other legal complexities leave little room for healing before the final decree. Using tools like collaborative law or mediation can help ease a difficult situation.
Once the divorce process has finished and you have taken care of legal issues, you can begin to focus on coping mechanisms that will alleviate your sense of loss in various areas of your life. Working with a psychologist or a counselor is an excellent way to achieve personal growth and begin to create a new life in the years ahead.
