Starting over after a divorce in New Hampshire is difficult enough as an individual. When moving forward includes creating a new, blended families, complications can multiply.
Common problems when two families become one
After the recovery period from a divorce, it’s only natural that individuals would consider remarriage someday. Most people have moved on emotionally and settled into a new routine.
For many children, that recovery period may take longer. According to statistics, it can take up to a year for kids to become acclimated to their new normal.
Bringing a new person into the mix can lead to conflicting emotions. For example, children could become torn between hopes for a reconciliation between their parents and a desire to see their parents happy and optimistic about life again.
They may also fear that the new partner is more important to the parent than they are. The period of adjustment when they’re getting used to new siblings, rules, and schedules – maybe even a new home and school – can be difficult as well. It’s not unusual for kids to question their place in the family.
If they like the new stepparent, they may also feel guilt.
Blending families requires time, patience, and some strategies for a successful union. Here are some tips about how to make the transition a little easier for everyone.
Tips for remarried parents with children
The first step in blending families is to be very clear and transparent about the situation. Assure children they are still valued and loved, but create clear boundaries for behavior regarding respect and rules.
This includes the kids but is more directed at natural and step-parents and extended family. All parties should get together, if possible and feasible, to discuss new roles and means of cooperation. When parenting styles collide, strive for compromise.
Discipline shouldn’t be relegated to the step-parent but should always fall on the parents of each child. Rules should be unified from household to household to try and create a sense of unity and consistency. Encourage open and honest communication about feelings and concerns.
Be supportive of the new spouse and act as a team. It’s important to respect the biological parent and their role in the new dynamic, but don’t allow manipulation from any side. The children should come first.
It’s also essential to use patience and flexibility during the sometimes trying transition period from divorced single with kids to a newly blended household. If necessary, seek family counseling to get through the rough patches.
