Conflict is present in many New Hampshire divorces. However, in some situations, it can become so high that the divorce may become toxic. This can be particularly true when there is one person who is trying to proceed in an equitable fashion and the other person is determined to make the process as difficult as possible. If you are engaged in a toxic divorce, focusing on what is in your control can help.
Effect on children
First, if there are children involved, it is critical to focus on what is in their best interests. High-conflict divorces can be particularly hard on kids, and the other parent may be more concerned with their own feelings than on the children. Try to protect the kids from witnessing conflict, but discuss these issues with your attorney and other professionals that you are working with. If the other parent is being unreasonable, more explicit language in the parenting agreement, such as specifying not just days but exact times for visitation, can prevent them picking up or returning the children at inconvenient times.
Help from professionals
You may need to prepare for a process that lasts much longer than is typical. A high-conflict divorce can drag on for years if the other person is determined to keep introducing obstacles. This is another reason that professionals you work with need to be fully informed about the situation. A family law judge who is involved in the case may see the dynamics and take steps to address them, including ensuring that child support is paid.
Protecting yourself
Division of assets can also be more fraught in a toxic divorce. The other spouse may try to hide assets or take more than their share and may attempt to wear you down over time. It is usually not possible to negotiate property division in this environment, and you may need to go to court to have a judge decide. Divorcing an uncooperative spouse is never easy, but by understanding what you are dealing with and using the resources available to you, you can protect yourself and your children.
