You may have come across people who have told you that the only reason they haven’t left their spouse yet is because of the kids. They know the marriage is not working for them, but they feel it is better to put their needs to one side to enable the children to grow up with both parents under the same roof.
This can sometimes work. Some couples accept that things will never be like they used to be and reframe their relationship to get through the years that their children are still at home. Yet reports show that there is often a high cost to staying in an unhappy marriage, and not just for the parents.
Conflict can hurt the whole family
Repressing frustration can often lead to more intense conflict when it does break through. Harsher words may be flung that sting for a long time to come and make one or both parties feel unloved, guilty, betrayed, inadequate or a host of other negative emotions.
Seeing or hearing parental conflict can make a child feel confused, scared, insecure and other such things. Mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, could also be made more likely for parents or children.
Children’s school performance can suffer
Children often do worse at school when there is conflict at home. It can affect their ability to concentrate and study, their grades and therefore their future. Some kids may get into trouble while trying to escape what is happening at home due to seeking relief in alcohol, drugs or a problematic crowd of people.
Most marriages go through difficult patches, and honest conversation or therapy can often help. Yet, sometimes, the best thing for everyone is to end the marriage. While that won’t be smooth sailing, and it will have some effect on the children, it’s often the best long-term decision for the whole family.
